This will never happen again, mark my words, NEVERI learned something today, I learned something important, and I realized something equally important. I realized that the fall tournament had given me a false impression as to my competition, and I learned that unless I am at my absolute best I will not win. I came into this tournament ill prepared and ill tempered; I was tired, annoyed by my parents on the long drive there and felt like throwing up in the car. I got to the tournament and I didnt have sufficient time to warm up and practice. Do to Red Bull, I did have energy but I didnt have focus. When it came for me to do my form for Haidong Gumdo I realized that I wasnt at all prepared, neither mentally not physically. My heart was beating 100 times per second, my motions were jerky and bit forced while stopping short. I did an excellent job of fighting it off and making it appear that I was calm, I gave a slightly below average performance. My competition was 4 people my rank including scarp, one person a rank higher (Miss Evangelist) three people that were 2 ranks higher that I didnt know and one person that was 5 ranks higherNeedless to say, a average performance wasnt going to cut it against this kind of superior competition. I realized that I did not sufficiently prepare for this tournament in any way like I did last year. I was ok but I wasnt on my game, I wasnt strong, fluid, quick and light footed If I was at my best then I could have out done all of my competitors, or at least taken second next to the one that was 5 ranks higher, but I wasnt prepared for this competition and that is my fault.
I made the same mistake for Tang Soo Do. I was more prepared for the empty handed art but my form was too forced and not natural enough, I honestly feel like I was cheated though and should have placed, I might not have done the best form but I know I was one of the top three, I guess the judges either didnt like my style or maybe had some lingering personal issues having to do with me and someone else Ill not mention. As dumb as that sounds, it did pop into my head. My sparring was another story, it wasnt the point sparring I had trained for, it was a street fight and I went in with the mindset of sportsmanship while my opponent was trying to kill me. By the time I changed my game plan to match the power, cheap tactics and asshole style of my opponent it was too late, I had my knee damn near illegally punched off and I was too off balance to come back from 4-2 deficit and I lost as I should have. I didnt deserve to win at sparring today, I was not prepared to compete on the level of my competition.
Breaking was another story though. Ive been training for weeks almost every day for breaking, and if I was every prepared for anything it was the breaking. I did my stepping front center punch and punched good knuckles through 2 boards with enough power and spirit to break at least 3 or 4. I then twisted into my back Soo Do chop and blasted through 2 more boards and almost took scarps arm right off after them. My breaks were crisp, powerful, clean, confident and beautifulMy only regret is that I didnt set more boards up to break as I found after the fact that I could have done at least 3 on each technique. I was happy with my performance though in breaking, but as you can probably guess I didnt even place. People that failed easier breaks 2 or 3 times got trophies, but I didntI really dont know why, I feel really shaftedBut whatever, I did very well in that event and I dont need a trophy to tell me I could punch staple someone to a wall if I had to. Now however the side of my left hand and the knuckles of my right hang hurt like hell and are a bit swollen. But they will heal and get stronger.
Today everyone at the tournament brought their A GameThey came with their best ready to go, and I was to arrogant, to confident, and to foolish to sharpen my skills to that level because I thought I had an advantage this time. Never again will I be swept at a tournament, or rather, never again will I show up with anything less than my best, I dont care what it takes, I will not walk out knowing I could have done better EVER again Im not so mad that I lost, I am mad that I didnt prepare myself for thisIt was a dumb mistake, but Ill be ready for the next oneI got to confident taking gold at the last tournament and that arrogance cost me everything todayBut Ill show them, next time I compete with those guys it will be playing my game, on my turf, and Ill be more than prepared. Never again will I let myself and my school down like that again